Written by Matias Gonzalez Teti, Florencia Gonzalez Teti, Karen G, Agostina Teti
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am the secretary of the Science Club of UBA College and I am planning a trip to your museum. Therefore, I would like to get some information.
First of all, I would be grateful if you could tell me if the snacks bar and the picnic space are available for our students. Furthermore, I would also like to know if it necessary to book a place in advance.
Secondly, could you please provide me information about the number of people we are allowed to carry?
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Your faithfully
WHAT'S MISSING?
1) Very good introduction!!
ReplyDelete2) Paragraphs 2 and 3: It's good to ask questions directly but I would créate a Little context for these questions. For example in the paragraph about n of people, you can mention the number of people that are going to go.
3) Careful with the ending!! There are some omissions.